August 17

 

I don't see this getting as SEXY as my last scammer, but still...

 

Dear Dana,

I am most grateful for your mail, and I seize this opportunity to thank you for coming to my rescue and to also let you know that this transaction is a straight forward and legal transaction. I hope you were not too embarrassed by my first email to you since you do not know me. I had no option since my immediate and extended family in and outside UK
refused to distribute my funds because they want to keep it to themselves.

I didn’t know how to move the funds out and despatch it to charity organizations, so I resorted to putting fate to test and making a random contact. I got your email address from the web email directory and decided to introduce my plight and this transaction. I am communicating with only you at this moment with regards to this transaction and I would not have any
cause to do otherwise since you have registered your Intention to assist me. Just like I stated in my first mail to you, this fund is presently in a finance institution in London,the United Kingdom. I cannot claim these funds myself as a result of:

(1) I am under going medical treatment. It has defiled all forms of medicine, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts

(2) I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul and so, I have decided to give arms to charity organizations and churches, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth It is for this reasons I am seeking for your assistance to stand as the beneficiary to the fund and retrieve it on my behalf and despatch it to charity organizations All the necessary documents required to get the Funds out of the finance institution are in my possession and I will be sending them to you after we must have come to a conclusion and reached an agreement. Not before. I need you to give me your words that you will be very honest and straight forward with me when the money gets to you, So long as you can execute this transaction successfully and help me despatch it to charity organizations.

Thus, I would need you to get back to me on the following issues,

(1) That you are in a position to be trusted as a God fearing person with such a large amount of fund and despatch it to charity organization.

(2) That you are ready to sign a letter of guarantee with a lawyer on behalf of me due to my health problem, clearly stating the terms of this transaction, including your percentages and
despatching the remaining funds to charity organizations, as the lawyer will be a living witness
that you fulfill your promise of despatching my funds to charity organizations so that I am assured that the money would be safe in your hands even when I am no more.

As soon as I receive your reply ,I will furnish you with all details including the finance institution and the lawyer’s details for the release of my fund and disposal to the charities. But if you have any questions up to this stage, please ask and I will be more than happy to respond to them.

Thanks for your mail, your mail has relieved me and I pray to almighty GOD in His infinite mercy to reward you.I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it now. I want you to pray
for me so that God would forgive me and be merciful to me and accept my soul .

May God bless you,

Dave Ellis

 

And I reply:

 

Dear David Ellis:

Isn't it awful when your family refuses to do God's work?? I'm having the same problem, believe it or not. I spend much of my time protesting outside an loathsome BABY KILLING clinic, throwing, as I usually do, tiny plastic fetuses as the whores and satan worshipers as they go through the doors. I hold a sign that says "ABORTION CAUSES CANCER" one one side and "DON'T ABORT, IT'LL LEAVE YOUR SOUL SHORT" on the other. I do this because I am no longer able to work, due to an accident at my former place of employment (I can not tell you the name, because of the large settlement I received, but I will tell you that it sounds a lot like Flurger Ring). Some people were horsing around behind the counter, and someone "accidentally" pushed my face into the french fry maker. Sadly, I am horribly disfigured now.

As I lay there on the hospital bed, Dear David, I heard Jesus call me!! Through my morphine (for the pain) haze, Jesus called down to me "DANA. I WILL ALLOW YOU TO LIVE THROUGH THIS, BUT YOU MUST DO MY WORK!!" I looked around as best as I could (since my entire face was bandaged) and said "WHO IS THERE?!?!" and I heard "DANA. IT IS ME, JESUS!!!!! YOU MUST DO MY WORK!!" "OF COURSE, JESUS!!" I replied "WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT ME TO DO!?!? Do you want me to protest war? Help the needy? Volunteer to help the elderly??" "NO!!!" He boomed, "YOU MUST PROTECT THE FETUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And keeping my end of the bargain, David, I went forth the moment I was discharged, and began protesting at BABY KILLING clinics. Jesus told me to!!! IN any event, my FAMILY (and really, I have found a new, BETTER family with the new church I attend: The Church of Protection of Family Values and the Holy Fetus) but my biological family tried to have my money taken from me, trying to declare me MENTALLY INCOMPETANT,can you IMAGINE?? Thinking about it now gets me so worked up I need to go take my CALM DOWN pills. Please hold on.

Ahhhhhh!! Much better. Okay, where was I? Right. My family tried to have me declared incompetent, since I began donating large sums of it to The Church and they wanted it for decidedly NON Christian things (I'm not positive, but I believe that they would PROBABLY buy some of those HEAVY METAL records, and my sister would NO DOUBT buy shirts to reveal her MOUNDS. She is a WHORE OF BABYLON!!!!!) Of course, Jesus was shining on me and I prevailed.

So, my brother in Christ, now that I have told you my story, you will know that I understand your pain and of COURSE I will help you. How on earth could I not?

I must close this now. I have just gotten word that there is an 18 year old girl about to fill a prescription for BIRTH CONTROL PILLS!!! I must go show her the error of her ways!!!!!!!!!!

May The Wind Of Jesus Never Be Blown up your heiney,

Dana

 

As always, when/if he answers I will share it with YOU!1

 

the other day - home - email - soon