April 10

 

I miss my grandfather so much, to think of him makes my chest ache. I've been trying not to write or talk about it because it reminds me that he isn't here, for the first time in 35 years. I don't even have anything to say about it other than I keep forgetting that he's dead and when I remember I don't what will make the hurt less. Nothing, I guess. In my dreams, he is in the hospital, asking me to help him. In my daily life, I drive past the cemetary and can not believe that he's under the ground, and now I need to stop writing because I am not in the mood to cry because I feel like I won't ever stop once I start again.

 

Thank you, again, for all of your email. I tried to answer it all, or at least acknowledge it. It was really thoughtful.

 

 

the other day - home - email -soon