Honestly, my first intention was to delete EVERYTHING, and just start again, but 3 years is a long time, and I couldn't do it.  Not yet.
 
 
 
 
 

2004:

April:

1st:  Faux April Fools!
2nd:  Nicole and I can not stop talking about Saturday Night Fever.  We really can't!
12th:  Why HELLO DERE, MR. BEE!!!
13th:  I actually GO BACK to this chart to read it, because it cracks me up so bad.
16th:  One of the BEST SONGS EVER!!
20th:  HEH HEH.  omething i miing!!!
27th:  Doug is my friend.  YOU AREN'T!!!
28th:  A mish mosh.
 

March:
3rd:  My confession
4th:  Lucinda.  Oh, I have chosen not to go back.
5th:  Interpol.
12th:  The last hurrah of Grayson's teeth.
23rd:  Paint your own bathroom
25th:  Uh.  Sure.
26th:  Big Head Todd Redux
29th:  Million Hit March!!!
31st:  If I posted photos of Johnny Shutup EVERY DAY, I think it might be allright.
 
 

February:

4th:  Religion, please go get fucked.
6th:  I am a mighty little Fan.  Also, this is when Doug and I met for the first time.
9th:  Photos from the event.
10th:  Grandfather.
13th:  Bing Crosby.
16th:  JOHNNY SHUTUP TO THE RESCUE!
19th:  Dogster.  Subsequently, my dog's profiles were lost and I can't be bothered to put that much effort into it again.
25th:  DANE, YOU HUNGRY??
 
 

January:

5th:  Yeah, and thank you for all your birthday wishes.  I am being sarcastic, of course.
7th:  Ben Stiller.  You are NOT AT ALL FUNNY.
8th:  Nicole and Dana watch Gigli.  Ugh.
9th:  Love this song.
12th:  Referrals!
15th: Spalding Gray
16th:  Hah, an R Kelly song for YOU and YOU AND YOU!!!
21st:  Dirrrrty.
23rd:  White Lines.
26th:  Which friend am I talking about?  Oh, I think you all know.
30th:  A song that reminds me of Nick and 1996.
 
 
 

2003

December:

3rd:  I only wrote once in November?  Huh!
4th:  And my dream was RIGHT!! BLIMPS ARE BAD.
18th:  I sort of hate you, David Bowie.  But I also kind of like you.
25th:  Merry Christmas, Love Snoop Dogg.
26th:  I really like when you all use my name in vain.
 

November:

11th:  My grandfather wrote me a note

October:

1st:  Nicole and I went to see Mariah Carey in Atlantic City. Vodka tonics may have been involved.
19th:  Once again, a dentist tells me to pull my wisdom teeth. I steadfastly refuse.
20th:  I am grumpy.  No one knows why.
21st:  I am still grumpy.
27th:  A trip through my bookmarks.
 

September:

3rd:  Remember when I used to go to the gym?  No, me either.
17th:  I'm on strike.  I liked being on strike.  No work!!
 

July-August
So, for whatever reason, I can't find the archives for the end of June through August.  I'm sure you can find them if you just scroll through the entries.
 

June:
9th:  Jesus, I only wrote TWICE in May? Was I abducted?
17th:  Freebird!

May:
9th:  Referrals!
19th:  I pop my pedicure cherry.

April:
3rd:  The Register Article.  I am a Sassy Lass and you're jealous as all get out.
11th:  Someone from work was reading.  I hope, whoever you are, it was worth your while.
22nd:  EVIL FINGERS.
25th:  I lose my shit for Neil Diamond.  SHUT UP.
28th:  Taking Angelo & Eleanor to the mall.
 

March:

11th:  Some crazy cult scientologist guy send me freako email because of this entry.  Apparently, I sound JUST LIKE HIM before the brainwashing took hold.
17th:  I move into a new building at work.
19th:  I take my grandmother to the ER.  She fell down.
31st:  Stuff!  yeah!!

February:

10th:  I think I wrote every day this week.
11th:  Yep.
12th:  Still going.
13th:  Uh huh
14th:  Happy Valentine's Day.  Did you get lucky?
19th:  Winter sucks.
26th:  THE REAMER!!
 
 

January:

3rd:  Photos! What?! You're kidding!
10th: The one about the psycho cleaning woman--who got CRAZIER since then.  Maybe I'll write about it.
16th:  I took a break from ebay after this.  Also, Eleanor's birthday
23rd:  Things I would write about, were I not so very lazy.
28th:  Let's not be friends forever, ok?
 
 
 
 

2002:

December:

2nd:  Bad parenting.
6th:  Referrals.
10th:  Angelo
23rd:  Me in funny headgear.
30th:  The first of two totally gratuitous all photo entries.  Why?  Because I can.

November:

4th:  Angelo
7th:  Mean rabbits, shoe shopping.
11th:  Nicole and I go to see the Eminem movie.  What a steaming pile THAT was.
21st:  Me in Chicago for Jessie's wedding.
26th:  This doesn't appear to be about anything, really.
 
 
 

October:
1st:  There's a snake in the tree!
3rd:  People find me in some truly fucked up ways.
Wish I'd dated this, but I didn't! Sorry.
10th:  Words, words, talky talky
22nd:  I really do hate shopping.
24th:  Sure!

September:

5th:  Brain Tumor
22nd:  More about Angelo.  Note: I'd updated several times on my index page, but didn't save any of that stuff, so if you missed it, I'm sorry.
26th:  It is you who are the ball lickers.

August:

14th:  Bitching about something or other
19th:  Hah, HAH.  The sexy sock IM conversation
26th:  Happy 3 year anniversary to me.
28th:  The first of many sad stories about Angelo
 
 
 
 

July

1st:  Oh, my horrible job.
9th:  Favorite Spam.
11th:  I have a big old wart
19th:  Back from Boston
22nd:  Obsessions come in all shapes and sizes
23rd:  Why I am a heartless, life denying bitch.
 

June

3rd:  Oh, some stuff about some stuff
4th:  Finger sniffing
6th:  Obey me on the road.
9th:  An entire entry about shampoo! Can you stand it??
12th:  I busted my bra on Space Mountain
27th:  Back from Mexico
 

May:

2nd:  Hair cut, talk about rabbits.
8th:  Swimsuits!
14th:  Heh, Porkins
16th:  Still bitching about ballshow.
21st:  The letter about ballshow, also, there's a photo that clearly shows that I think I'm just too adorable for words.
 
 
 

April:

1st:  A really cool photo
5th:  The story about Utah
8th:  Part 2, the story about Las Vegas
10th:  The balll shoowwww....
23rd:  Sort of a  not entry.
24th:  I bitch about administrative professional's day.  and rightfully so.
30th:  Ugh, Celeste.  I loved her dearly.
 
 
 

March:

6th:Im a dirty person.
8th:  I inadvertantly make fun of my brand new trainer.
18th:  I am LIVID about a stupid stupid thing.
21st:  Wow, did I really go from the 8th to the 18th without updating? I'm lame!
25th:  Not quite as weepy as previous years.
 
 
 
 
 
 

February:

6th:  I once again prove that I'm in love with the Dude Who Lives in My Car
12th:  Craptastic.
18th:  Nicole?  Remember her?  Also, I have a fan page.  Do you?
20th:  A long entry about a shower curtain, of all things.
24th:  It happened....IN THE BEDROOM....
28th:  Whipping my folds into shape.
 
 
 
 
 

January:

2nd:  Oh, man.  My cousins and I went into NY, and got screaming drunk.  I think whiskey may have been involved.
8th:  Really, I'm just resolving to lose about 100 pounds.  Heh, like that'll happen.
9th:  I make fun of the president.  He's still a jackass.  Popular opinion be damned.
16th:  I get rid of my beloved truck.  I guess it's not SO beloved, afterall.
18th:  Taps.  Very funny.
22nd:  I wrote this today, it's still sinking in...
23rd:   Prove your love, pigs.
25th:  Flight 800
29th:  I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record.  Oh yeah?
30th:  I stalk my truck, I bitch about my job.
31st:  Heh, I love this entry--it's about tampons!
 
 
 
 
 

2001:
 
 
 

December:

5th:  Short and stupid.
6th:  The one where I decide that I want another tattoo.
8th:  The one where I dream that the Dude Who Lives in My Car is stolen.
10th:  How fascinating, I'm talking about dreams.
11th:  Old love, George Harrison.
17th:  Wow, not much time passed between "Geez, I'd like a tattoo!" and "Woah, looky!"
20th:  Heh, I puked in the elevator.  I'm nasty.
21st:  Decorating the Christmas tree with Gramma.
 
 
 
 
 

November:
 

2nd:  Yeah, sure.  It might be...
6th:  Who's the old man?  I'm the old man!
7th:  Bass! How low can you go?  Death row! What a brother know?
9th:  Photos of my dogs.  Skip it.
12th:   Uh, snowglobe.
15th:  Some guy got pissed at me because I DARED make even a vague reference in this entry to having my PERIOD.  Men are fucking weird.
19th:  Too many teardrops.  For one heart.
28th:  A 20 pound turkey?
 

October:
 

4th:  The one where the fact that I was kind of an obnoxious child is revealed.
9th: When I am lost in New York
Uh.  This also says the 9th.  Something's not right here...
19th:  I took quite a break, there, huh?  The one about JournalCon.  Loved Journalcon.
24th:  Or so I hope.  It's about Johnny Shutup!
25th:  My job sucks ass.
29th:  Heh, all of my ftp files are dated wrong, and it's confusing me.  No wonder I never fuck around with this shit.
 
 

September:

3rd:  The one where I talk about giving the finger.  It's funny!
5th:  The one where I'm too stupid to make a mix tape.
8th:  The one where I discuss lice prevention month.  Heh.
9th:  The one where I say some stuff.
12th: The day after.
14th:  More
17th:  And more
20th:   Flying
21th:  Some stuff.  Maybe funny.  Maybe not! Probably not.
27th:  List of things.
 
 

August:

2nd:  Some stuff, it's probably hilarious.  Looking back now, I donno, I skimmed.
7th:  I decide to go to JournalCon.  I talk about hallucinating in the Volvo.
8th:  Wherin I proclaim that it could never ever be hot enough for me!
13th:  I have a nightmare about JournalCon.  Which didn't come true.
16th:  Went to see Radiohead.  LOVE Radiohead.  Love.
17th:  Midget talk? What?  Who's page is this, anyway?
21st:  Plot your own adventure with Mister T!
27th:  Happy birthday, to Bobofett...
28th:  Heh, the elusive Bag Deer of Connecticut.
29th:  Dana, go piss in your own forum!
30th:  A sensible talk about flipping the bird.
 

July:

5th:  A story about a plant.
6th:  Wherein I unravel a mystery of nomenclature.
The one without a date.  Seriously.
11th:  I get cheap shoes which I am all excited about at the time.  I've only worn them once.
13th:  Grayson has the C word!
16th:  I must confess, I love this entry.  I laugh when I read it.
17th:  RAAARR!
18th:  Sockpaw.
19th:  So, I read this Def Leppard entry at JournalCon, and I do believe I was the only one laughing.
24th:  I wrote something here that makes me all weepy to read now.  It is about New York, and it says: "if you could look into your future and know that it's something you might never, ever see again,
that you would be sure and make a point of doing it as often as you  could because there are some things you just don't get to do forever"
25th:  The one where the lady brings in the duck.
26th:  Clever inventions.
27th:  When I start sharing nutbag Bob Larson with all of you.
30th:  Me and my fat ass.
 
 

June:

1st:  What the fuck was I thinking?  Look at that hair.
4th:  I didn't write this.
5th:  The roast beef?  Don't eat it.  It's hella salty.
6th:  Library is stupid.
7th:  Screw you, potato chip commercial.
11th:  According to rumor, White Castle fries only come in one size.
14th:  Heh, I got locked in the nail room.  Heh, heh.
18th:  The hepetitis tattoo is discovered by my mom.
19th:  Apparently, I watched Spinal Tap again.
20th:  A whole series of truly pointless entries!
21st:  And another!
25th:  Social contracts by which I live my life.  Also, a strange photo of me.
28th:  I reminisce about the olden days.
 
 
 
 

May:

10th:  I was in Mexico, where one American dollar is worth roughly a jillion pesos.
11th:  I cook up a really lame idea.
16th:  Uh, I have no idea.  I'm sure it's quite clever.
18th:  I'm nasty to some guy who makes a quarter an hour, probably.  That's not the point, is it?
21st:  Jesus, my hair is super long in this photo!
30th:  RAAAR!  California!
 

April:

2nd:  I miss New York, don't I?
3rd:  Aw, dude, this is where it began.  RAAR!
4th:  And they keep partying!
10th:  I burn my tits.
12th:  Someone goes to work. RAAR!!
16th:  My grandmother worries about being kidnapped.
19th:  I'm wearing that sparkly shirt again.  Why?
25th:  Apparently, I was going to write about Tom Waits, but changed my mind.
27th:  Moustache Bandito!
 
 

March:

1st:  Paolo Conte
8th:  I get rooked into driving the truck to the casino.
12th:  The one where I realize I'm depressed as holy hell.
19th:  Short, and I'm wearing the ugliest shirt ever.  EVER.  Threw that shit right out.
20th:  I get pissed because someone parks in my spot.  Fucker.
21st:  Bitching and moaning because the person who parked in my spot cut me off.
22nd:  Bob Marley
27th:  I'm going to Cancun!
 

February:

2nd:  This is about that time I did the thing.
8th:  Snow.
9th: The pope and his guest entry!
12th:  The photos on this page are FUCKED up.  More pope talk.
14th:  Heh.
16th:  Teased by flowers.
19th:  Me, wearing a glittery shirt.  Why?
21st:  I get all choked up about some old guy in a hat.
 

January:

2nd:  A super cute photo of my cousins and I.  Some broken images from Target.
7th:  Another broken picture of me. Alas.
12th:  Grandmother in hospital.  I tell her about the smoking cure!
19th:  Things that scare me.  I'm a puss, for sure.
22nd:  I have no idea why so many of these images don't work. You already know what I look like.
25th:  A photo of Angelo.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

I won a diarist for this entry.    I also won one for this entry.    And ww..  Not that I'm bragging, but this one, too.  As you can tell, all this fame and fortune and glory has made my life a better place.