November 4
 
 
 

 
 

1.

A few days ago, I met my grandparents over at a geriatric assessment center.  They were going to take a look at Angelo and see what, if anything, they thought should be done and to take a close look at how he's doing.  Part of the meeting was my grandmother and I talking to a caseworker, while Angelo was off being seen by a doctor.  After about 20 minutes with us, she asked my grandmother: "What would you like to see happen with his recovery?"  "Well, first of all," she answered, "I'd like for him to be able to tell me that he actually HAD surgery, I'd like for him to be aware of that."  The caseworker shook her head.  "That will never happen.  The time he spent in the hospital he was, just from reading his records, delirious for a good part of it.  That's all time when his brain was in distress, and he will never get that back.  Someday, he may be able to say intellectually "I know that I've had surgery, because you tell me so, but I don't remember"
 

2.

My grandmother has a terrible cold.  No fever, no chills, no nausea, but a painful, wet cough.  We planned to visit Angelo today, take him out for a drive and then do her grocery shopping for the week.  When I arrived this morning, she was far too sick.  I took money from her, did her shopping, brought it back to the house, helped her put it all away.  "Don't worry about taking your grandfather out! Bring him a cruller, visit for an hour and go home. Don't waste your whole day there."
 

3.

When I got to the home, everyone was eating lunch.  I found Angelo at his usual seat in the back.  He didn't see me right away.  There is an ancient woman wearing a bib, feeding herself pumpkin custard across from him.  He finally sees me.  I tell him I'm breaking him out for a few hours, after lunch.  As he eats, I go to his room and fetch his jacket.  I find the nurse in charge and tell her that I'm taking him.  "Oh, I don't know if you're allowed to!  Is it in his chart?  Does your grandmother know?"  I tell her that yes, she knows, it was her idea and that she would have come along were she not so sick.  She decides that it would be allright and I sign him out.  I return to the lunchroom, where he is holding the hand of a worker, a habit he's picked up since he was in the hospital--he holds on to people's hands while he talks to them and will not let go, even when the person really has or wants to go.  I peel him off the woman, and help him on with his coat.  We walk through the lunchroom.  "EVERYONE!"  he announces, "THIS IS MY GRANDDAUGHER AND SHE IS TAKING ME OUT!!!!!"  I am greeted by the same people who greet me every time I visit, as though they have never seen or met me before.
 

4.

I drive a few blocks to the Merrit Parkway.  It is a riot of gold and red and yellow. The sky is clear, bright blue.  The clouds are aimless.  Angelo falls silent.  We drive for a minute or two, quietly, and he says, "It's all so beautiful, thank you for taking me" and he is crying, gently.
 

5.

We go for ice cream and talk about the things we will do when he comes home.  We will grocery shop and Christmas shop.  We will do exactly what we want to do.  This is an emphasised point.  Exactly what we want to do.  Afterwards, I drive a mile or so to a park.  There are a few animals, some rabbits, two goats, two sheep.  "It feels good to be outside.  I feel like my voice sounds different! Louder! The air in my lungs is good.  Wherever we are, it is beautiful!"
 

6.

He tells me I ought to bring him back, before it gets dark.  I agree.  We drive along, him telling me convoluted stories about the people in the home.  He asks "Do you remember why I'm there?"  I say "What'ja mean, Grampa?  Why you're where, in the rehab place?"  "Yeah, was I sick or something?"  I tell him about the brain tumor.  I tell him about how he was in the hospital, the restraints, the night when he did nothing but thrash wildly and ask me to get him his shoes.  He listens, interjecting only "No kidding!"  When I am done, he says "Thank you for being there with me, and thank you for telling me.  We don't have to tell anyone else."
 

7.

I bring him back and we walk in together.  He greets everyone.  They flock around him.  "I am BACK!! My granddaugher took me to a MOUNTAIN!! I saw the leaves! It felt so good to be outside!!"
 

8.

He's going home on the 11th.
 
 

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