August 27

 

Guess what yesterday was? Right! It was the 7 year anniversary of this site, so how you like THEM apples? I would like to stay that I've learned some amazing lesson from chronicling my life for almost 10 years, but honestly I've got nothing. What I can say that these years have given me are some amazing friends, friends I'll have for life. The kind of friends you (I) could call with your (my) one phone call from jail and they'd work out some way to get me free. I mean, likely they would not pay my bail because my friends are rich of spirit but poor of pocket, so I imagine there'd be some cakes with files involved or some abandoned cars loaded with dynamite or them giving me jail schematics so I could tunnel out, but really--I am a lazy person and I'd probably just end up sitting there. I am a different person in many ways from seven years ago. I could surely go on and on, listing the ways (fatter, balder, happier, ballsier, more focused) but who gives a shit? I can promise you a few things for my next years of journaling:

And this I swear to thee:

1.) I will never take you on a heart-felt journey through my weightloss. Not that I find anything wrong with weightloss sites, just that this is not one--EVEN IF I COULD SURELY STAND TO LOSE A POUND OR 50.

2.) I will never attempt to get pregnant, thus sparing you talk of my daily temperature and consistency of my vaginal mucous.

3.) I will never have a baby, and will never go on and on about how awesome my kid is. I have plenty of friends with children, and offhand, I can think of only two journals of people with kids whose writing doesn't make me want to fork out my own eye: Sundry and Jessamyn. You all know who they are, so I'm not going to link because I am lazy (see above, reasons I will probably never make a hand dug tunnel escape from jail). They're awesome. (Note: I am not including other friends with kids here because they're journals are more secret-y and I'm not sure they want to be outed)

4.) I will never brag about how awesome my life is and how sensational I am. I am a dork, and if you've been reading me for this long, you know for a fact that I am pretty much at an even keel. Likewise, I won't post endless photos of myself doing nothing. I did that. I'm over it.

5.) I WILL probably continue to talk about being in school, trying to become a nurse, my grandmother, Nick, my dogs, my job, gambling, and whatever other stupid shit I've said over the past forever.

 

Seven years, guys! That's crazy! If internet years are like dog years (which I am putting forth RIGHT NOW that they are, so don't try and steal the idea as your own, because I am patenting it as we speak) that makes this journal 49 years old. And yet, I don't feel a day over 47. Thanks for reading! (and remember, I am updating frequently over here).

 

few weeks back - home - email - soon