May 30
 
 
 

RAAAR! Okay, this was a long trip, so we had plenty of stuff to do and now have a lot to talk about.  RAAAR!!  The airport in New York was very, very crowded and people kept bumping into us.  One person pointed and was all like "Ooh, look how cute, a little tiny monster!"  And you know what I had to do, right?  Of course  you do, what would YOU have done if you were me?  Our plane left one hour late and we all crammed on like nobody's business.  Some woman tried to take the window seat from me, she was all "You're a monster! You can't even SEE out the window!"  And I was like "That might be true, madam, but my friend and I are needing to--RAAARRR!!"  And then I ate her.  Of course I did.
 

RAAAR, right.  This might look a lot like the last picture, but we're in an entirely different state.  Plus, I started drinking scotch, and scotch makes monsters mean.  People started jabbering at me in that weird accent, and I was entirely tempted to eat them, but, you know, didn't want to get blood in the scotch.  Remember that?  Man, he's quiet.   His moment of victory is coming later.  You'll see.  RAAARRR!!  Since we got into Minnesota so late, our stopover was much shorter, and we didn't really have time to eat anyone or absorb the local culture or take a field trip to the Mall of America, which we really wanted to see.  Next time.  RAAAR!!  Moving on.
 
 

Hah! Hah! We took this picture of Al, he was sitting behind us.  He sleeps with his mouth open.  My friend thought it would be funny if we stuck stuff in his mouth, but I told him not to.  Hah! Hah! It WOULD have been funny.
 
 
 

This was the beach.  We were walking in the sand towards the water and he turned to me and was like "what's that noise?"  and I made myself look all big and was like "RAAARR!!" because there was this noise that was all "ORP!! ORP!! ORP!!"  and we started running towards the water because I thought it was another monster, but it wasn't.  It was Sea Lions.  Or Seals.  What's the difference?  I donno.  They were big and slippery.  Plus, there were about a million and 10 birds.  They swooped into the water and were eating something, fish, I think.  They are like monsters! Eating! RAAAR!!
 
 
 

RAAAR!! This was a statue on the street.  We kind of strolled around, and we walked to the end and got a Jamba Juice, which, for the uninformed, makes a monster very happy, and then some hippie stepped in front of me, and he was all "Dude! Looky! The Monster! The Guy With Lips!! DUUUUDDDEEE!!"  and he tried to pick us up to show his friends, but, you know, I bit him.  He dropped me and was all "Bummmmerrr!!'  so I bit him again.  Then we walked over and saw this statue of this guy.  It was next to a flower stand, so people were putting flowers on him.  He's playing the saw.  Raarrr!
 
 
 

The next morning, we woke up and went to the Mystery Spot.  Finding it was part of the Mystery.  People were all like "What the hell is that, driving the car??  What IS that??"  We honked and waved and it was really pretty cool.  We took some other pictures there, but the mystery was so great that they didn't really come out so well.  Except for this next one.
 
 

Is the mystery the crooked house?  No one knows.  That's why it's a MYSTERY SPOT.  RAAAR.  That other guy was so stupid, he stepped in front of me right when Iwas trying to take the picture of my friend, there, all because he was staring at me and being alllike "What are you doing, monster?? How can monsters take pictures??  Why are you traveling with those people??"  He went ON and ON and ON and ON, so we tripped him, and I ate him, and I got my picture!  That's part of the NEW mystery.  Hah! Hah! Monsters can joke, too.  Hah! New mystery! Hah!!  RAAAR!!!
 
 
 

RAAR!! Moment of victory for my friend! It's a tattoo!  So, we all went to the tattoo place together, and, hah! hah! This was funny!  She took out a piece of paper and said "This is what I want!"  and the lady was like "uhh.."  and she took him out of her bag and was like "I want it yellow like him!"  and the lady said "THAT'S yellow??"  Hah! Hah! He's too dirty to be yellow! Hah! Anyhow, we all went back there together and then she got him tattooed to her leg.  Personally, I think that I would have been a better choice, but she was all like "I've known him longer, he lives in my car, he keeps me safe, yadda blah blah blah".  Whatever.  I started to eat her, but then remembered, she takes me with her everywhere, so I just gnawed on her a little bit.  Next time, it's going to be ME.  RAAARRR!!!"  Here's another picture:
 
 

Hah!  He was all walking around high and mighty, like "SOMEONE got ME on their leg!! SOMEONE CHOSE ME!!"  And I was all "yeah, but look how TINY you are! Look how TEENY it is!!  I'm the MONSTER here, and don't you forget it!!"
 
 

RAAAR!! I love gardens!! The next day we all took a tour of the Winchester Mystery House.  Again with the Mystery.  What makes it mysterious?  I donno.  Let's look at more pictures.
 
 

He thought it was really funny to tell me that that knob thing was a microphone, so I was all singing "I'm a MONNNnsssttterrrr!! Get awwwaayyyy frommm meee or I'll eeeaaatttt yooOOUUUU!!"  with the big, flourishy ending.  I couldn't figure out why he was laughing so hard.  Man, was I tempted to...well... you know...
 

RAAR!! I was so embarrassed, I was going to jump off the roof, just to show him.  But then I remembered, I'm a MONSTER!  Monsters don't jump.  Monsters SCARE!  RAAARRR!! So, I was scary.   He was all "Where'd you go??"  and I was like "_______" (I was being quiet)  and then I pounced.  Hah! hah! It was cool! The tour guide didn't even notice, though.  She was weird, and all like 'This house is TERRIBLY mysterious! Why did MRS WINCHESTER do such STRANGE and BIZARRE things?  WHY did she DO that?  WHY?  WHY??"  and I yelled out "SHUT UP OR I WILL EAT YOU!!!"  but I don't think she heard me.
 
 
 

I am a monster.  I am not afraid of anything.  This room made my monster skin crawl.   Uh.  I mean..uh.  Raar!! Moving on.
 
 
 

RAAR!! Not that I didn't like the inside of the house, okay, because I was NOT CREEPED OUT BY IT, and I was NOT SCARED, I AM A MONSTER!!! RAAAR!! I AM NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING, right, but I was glad to be outside.  Whew.  He loves this picture and made me put it in.  He thinks he's all god's gift to the ladies now, ever since, well, the tattoo.   I told this lady "LOVE ME OR I WILL EAT YOU!!!"  but she didn't say anything.  He says it's because I have poor people skills.  I'm a MONSTER.  RAARRR!!!  I don't need people skills.  Man.  Just don't make me go back into that house.
 
 
 

Raar!  This page is too long.  Move along, little people, to the next one...