Performer: Christina vs. Mariah vs.
Britney!
Venue: Does ANYTHING good ever happen in Hartford? Winner! We were in Atlantic City. Terrible sound. Sluttiness of Crowd: BY FAR. Sluttiness of costumes: It's Ms. A, by a nose. Though, Britney gave Christina a run for the money. Best singing voice: Beautiful voice, but totally erratic. Without a doubt. Well, since she didn't sing... Most spitting: Why? WHY??? Best onstage banter: I think she may actually be a little bit retarded. She was suprisingly funny and warm. Did she do coke before the show? Most obviously insane: Oh YEAH. She's completely crazy. But in a FUN way!! Best backup dancers: Who cares? No dancers. They danced their little hoo hoos off. Most obvious botched lipsynching: N/A DEFINITELY N.A Heh, HEH. Nice try, sweetie. Crowd inappropriate sexuality: Not that I don't approve of hot chicks touching themselves, but REALLY. Youngest Fans: We were sort of surprised it wasn't Britney. Oldest fans: This should go without saying. Most dedicated fans: The woman sitting next to Nicole cried. Performer Dana knew most song lyrics of: What? WHAT? Like you don't know the words. Performer Nicole knew most song lyrics of: I'm thinking it has to be Mariah. Poor thing. (Nicole, not Mariah) Performer Dana knew least song lyrics of: I would say that knowing NONE of them counts. Performer Nicole knew least song lyrics of: Because really, WHO CARES? Worst version of own song: No one cares. She sounds EXACTLY the same. If i could have swung down to the stage and choked her to stop the SLOW JAZZ versions of "Baby one more time" and "Oops I did it again" I would have. Show Nicole and Dana had the most to drink: Ding ding ding! We drank before the show and then 9 dollar beer AT the show. And then, went to a bar for a little while AFTER. We'd already been in AC for a day, so we did our blackjack and vodka tonic routine the night before. No drinking. No drinking, Nicole is pregnant and I am a supportive friend! Purchased a t shirt or other show related memorabilia: I bought us both a pin. I am nice. I don't think I ever saw the swag table. I'd look cute in a babydoll shirt, right? Worst venue security: They sort of glanced in our direction before waving us in. Most obnoxious people sitting around us: I do believe that WE were the obnoxious people at this show. I had a VERY BORED little girl next to me. Row of girls talked the entire time about where they work out. Most comfortable seating: We didn't sit too much. Horrible. Not bad. Worst view of stage: We were BEHIND the stage, pretty much. Best view of stage: It's a tie. Tie. Celebrity sighting in crowd: Donald Trump. It was at his casino. Best entrance: Of COURSE. Would you expect anything less than her with a POSSE of Nation of Islam bodyguards? Most "What the hell did she just say?" moments: She screamed and spit and screamed "HEH!!!" a lot. Perfectly normal, on the SURFACE. Winner. Half the time she talked and they didn't turn her mike back on. Best costumes, overall: She wore torn up rags. She wore beautiful gowns. She wore naked body suits. Best dancer: Not so much good there. Mariah doesn't dance. AND SHOULDN'T. We all know Brit can move. Best opening act: No opening act--it was Justin and Christina. Ugh. Kellis? No thank you. We skipped that shit. Nicole and I both agree, she looks like smelly cootch. Worst moment during opening act: When the unfunny comedian made the Sikh guy in the first row carrying the "I love you, Mariah!" sign stand up and said to him "Don't sit next to this motherfucker on a plane!!!" It all would have sucked. Fuck you, Kellis. You are nasty. Best time at the day's non show-related activities: I worked that day. Lost money in Donald Trump's casino. I was wearing a really ugly shirt. I don't think I look how I think I look. I'm giving it to Britney, Nicole and I found a nice mall a few towns away AND we ate at Fuddrucker's. Who would Dana see perform again? I can't help it. Who would Nicole see perform again? She can't help it. Best use of video: Well, Mariah had some Busta going on, so she wins. Singing on top of a piano or swinging from swing? Piano! Piano AND swing!! SWING! Most obvious rip off of Madonna Doy! She STOLE the whole Truth or Dare Madonna bed and the whole masturbating thing. This really pissed Nicole off. Who would I most want to hang out with? Will she buy me $300 underwear? Who would I most want to be friends with? I can't argue with the crazy factor. Go drinking with? You KNOW she'd get all drunk on champagne and start taking sloppy swings at chicks in the bathroom. Most frightning aspects of venue: The 11 year olds dressed like sluts. The weird platform we were sitting on. It swayed and moved. For Nicole: The steepness and height of the seats.
For me: the indoor fire. I can't see that and not think Great White.Put on best show, overall: Best spitting. Best singer. Best dancer. Best show: I have to go with Britney. Even though she didn't sing. Poor thing.
And there you have it. Any questions?
