August 26
First! First! I can't even believe I forgot about this! I was just going through my horrible, freakishly out of order, obviously kept by someone with a mental disorder archives, and realized! Today is bobofett.com's 4 Year ANNIVERSARY! Whoop! Send me some mail! Gimme some love!! I looked through my archives, albeit very quickly, for the first horrible entry, and could not find it. Trust me--it wasn't great. This is not to say I've matured any or become a better writer in these past 4 years, but whatever. Four years is a long time. Thanks for reading, as always!
Yo! What's up? I have no idea what keeps happening to me. Good intentions, no follow through. A couple of things are going on--the first being that I'm going on strike tomorrow. Well, not just me, but my union are, and this time rather than me just taking an impromptu vacation to nowhere for a week, I'm going to fight along side my fellow people and I'm not being paid for the time. Of course, I'm not picketing, because I don't do that sort of thing, but I'll be there in spirit. When I handed in my keys and ID today at 5:00 and walked out of the building with other people who are striking and said "See you on the picket line!" I almost meant it. I ALWAYS almost do. Whatever. I think it's enough that I'm NOT GETTING PAID, do I have to stand around like a doofus, too? Chanting gives me hives. Also, the signs people carry are about stupid. For example, I was flipping through the local news earlier to see if there was any strike coverage (and I'm not being completely honest with you all--the strike isn't definite yet and here I am talking like it's a done deal. There are still 4 hours of negotiations left, this could all be resolved by midnight, but I'm just not holding my breath. No one is optimistic) and they panned onto a woman holding a sign that said:
THERE WILL BE NO
"TENSION"
IF YOU GIVE US OUR
PENSION!!"Tension"? I see! I hate to sound like a supersnob about the whole thing, but REALLY. I plan to drive by and honk supportively. If someone looks thirsty, I'll buy them a refreshing beverage (much like the last strike in March [which resolved nothing, as you might have surmised] where there was a giant monster blizzard, tomorrow is supposed to be 95 degrees). Me? I'm spending the day at Mohegan Sun with Angelo & Eleanor. As always, I dream of winning the big check, so I plan to really do a good job brushing my hair in the morning, for when my photograph appears in STRICTLY SLOTS magazine.
In other news, the anxiously awaited and once postponed Christina Aguilera and Justin Timblerlake concert was last Friday! (Remember? I bought Nicole and I tickets to the show for her birthday?) We drove up to Hartford early and grabbed two seats at a jam packed restaurant right across from the Civic Center. Typically, I feel pretty old and fat as I go through my life. That's a given. However, typically, I don't go to hipster bars where I am, IN FACT, the oldest and fattest person present. We spent the first 20 minutes after we were seated being ignored, which was pretty okay, since the place threw me into a sarcastic overdrive. We were by the window, so were able to see all of the girls heading into the concert. Folks, if I even try and describe for you the way these kids were dressed, you'd never believe me. I didn't actually know that it was legal for girls under the age of say, 25, to be wearing what paraded past me. Though, Christina herself is only 22, and that might explain a thing or two. Imagine 45,000 Christinas in all shapes and colors and sizes. Imagine them yelling and smoking. Imagine the ones who were over 21, or were at least able to get a fake ID, all pretending to be much drunker than they were to impress the boys.
Imagine Nicole and I, sitting in the restaurant, trying to order a meal, with two unattractive guys right next to us:
Unattractive Guy #1: DUDE!!!
Unattractive Guy #2: DUDE!!!!!!!!! Do you SEE all the PUSSY???
Unattractive Guy #1: DUDE!!! It's got to be the concert!!! I got THREE NUMBERS!!!
Unattractive Guy #2: DUDE, this is the BEST CONCERT EVER!!!!!!!!!
Unattractive Guy 1 & 2: *HIGH FIVE*Ugh.
So, after we eat and have a few drinks, we both feel mentally prepared for the onslaught and head over.
Ignore what your eyes are telling you--the pin does NOT say "Xtuna". You also cant see that it's a whole multi-media experience! It's a laser light show in a pin!!
We hit the door just as the music started. Screaming girls rushed past us in all directions. We grimaced and pressed on. I have to say right now that I am not a fan of Xtina OR Justin. This was an experience--like a lot of the experiences Nicole and I have--that we've chosen to do because WE CAN, because it's a funny story, because it seemed like a good idea at the time, not so much because it's going to be an idea musical experience.
Dana: Man, these people are FREAKING OUT! I mean, I'm just not that excited about this!
Nicole: Well, that's because for THEM, the experience is about CHRISTINA AND JUSTIN. For us, it's about Nicole and Dana.
Christina sings song song. She's barely dressed. She does this annoying laugh when she talks thing that was was cute once or twice, but after 20 minutes is no longer cute.
Dana: Where the hell did she come up with that accent? She's from STATEN ISLAND, for christ's sake!
Nicole: SHH!!
Dana: Seriously, why does she sound that way??
Nicole: SHH!!!!!!!!
It's a fact. I prefer Britney. Having said that, I will admit, Christina can sing. She can sing a song like nobody's business. She sang the hell out of Etta James' "At Last"--but, and this might be my problem with her, overall--right before she started singing the song, she turned her head and spat. And not a little "hee, look, I have something stuck in my throat!" but a full fledged clam.
Nicole: I OFFERED TO LOAN YOU THE CD! You are TREMENDOUSLY unprepared for this concert!!!
Dana: I can't even belive you know all the words to these crappy songs!
Nicole: You have UNDER A MONTH to prepare for Mariah. DO NOT dissapoint me!
Dana: I know more Mariah songs. Christina is kind of like the training bra version of Mariah.
Nicole: Less crazy, too.
Dana: That remains to be seen!
Remember how people used to describe the screaming at a Beatles concert? Remember our (and by "our" I mean Nicole and I, not all of you and I, though obviously, you were all invited) experience at the Ricky Martin concert? Those were NOTHING compared to what happened when Justin Timberlake scampered on. The screaming was so loud, my shirt vibrated.
Dana: MY HAIR IS VIBRATING!!!
Nicole: WHA??
Dana: MY HAIR IS VIBRATING!! THIS SUCKS!!
Nicole: It's VERY LOUD
Dana: MY SHIRT IS VIBRATING, TOO!!!
I hate Justin Timberlake. There's not really any way for me to get around that. I think he seems like a nice kid, I think he's talented in that "I should get the job because I played the lead in my HS production of Brigadoon AND South Pacific!!" way. But, doing the robot and moonwalking aside, he's got no moves.
Dana: THIS SONG ISN'T VERY GOOD!!
Nicole: I DON'T KNOW THESE SONGS. LET'S GO GET A BEER!!!
Dana: OK!!
You know what I hate about concerts? I hate HATE HATE--especially at a big extravaganza of a show--when the person performing pretends they're making fun banter with the audience. Christina did it with:
THE OTHER NIGHT, I WAS IN NEW YORK AND THEY WERE PRETTY GOOD but YOU GUYS IN HARTFORD REALLY BLOW THE ROOF OFF !!!! HOW YOU DOING, HARTFORD?????
and then JUSTIN did it with:
HEY!! HARTFORD!!! IS THERE ANYONE HERE WHO WANTS TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND?!!?!?!?!?
Well, DOY.
Dana: When we go to see Mariah, she's going to know we're in the audience!
Nicole: Of COURSE she will!!
Dana: And she will call us her special lambs!
Nicole: UH HUH!
Dana: I'll know more words. I promise!!
Nicole: Don't embarrass me this way again.
As much as I dislike Justin, I confess, I love one song like crazy, and I can't even figure out why. We were in the bathroom when I heard it beginning, and I ran! That's right, my friends, I RAN through the nearest door and SANG SANG SANG my heart out. I would have been perfectly content if he'd only sung that song, maybe told a joke or something, let his DJ (DJ FURIOUS) do some scratchy DJ stuff, and let us leave.
Nicole: I was kind of all set after Christina. My concert need was filled!
Dana: Yeah, mine too.
So, I'll talk to you guys very soon. I'll be home for a few days, at least and I know I always SAY I will, but I truly intend to try and update a couple times while the strike is going on.
Thanks again for all of your niceness over the years. Funny, for my big 4 year entry, I chose to post such a horrible photograph. Man.
Oh! And before I forget: I can cross one of the movies off my list. I didn't know we OWN Barbarella!!
the other day - home - email - tomorrow
