Okay. This one's for Jessie, AB & Keli.
 
 

Note:  New Turdmonster stuff.  Well, just one thing.  They've been busy.  I'm sure he'll tell you the story himself.
 
 

November 6

 
 
 
 
 

I wondered how my old age would begin manifesting itself.  Everyone knows the stories the elderly tell:  "Back when I was a lad, candy cost a PENNY!!  Just one penny!! You could feed an entire family of 4 for a nickel! You could get two nice dill pickles for 3 cents! And with the remaining two cents, buy a loaf of bread and a leg of lamb! Times were tight, yessirre, but we had something you kids don't have these days!!  We had MORALS!!"
 

I've been waiting and waiting to see what my thing would be.  What I latched onto.  What I would talk about to anyone and everyone who'd listen.  The thing only I cared about, and my friends and loved ones, I've found it:  Gas.
 

No, I don't mean that I've become more gassy now that I'm in my 30s, I mean, literally, gas.  Gasoline.  I am obsessed with the price of gas.  The summer before the last one (uh, summer of 2000, that would be) I was paying anywhere between 2.00 and 2.30 a gallon.  A GALLON.  For gas.  There was some absurd CT gas tax which added, at it's worst, 41 cents to each gallon they sold.  A law was passed, saying that that high rate of taxation wasn't fair (please note:  there very well have been some important NAME for said law, and I'm almost certain that the law wasn't repealed because "it wasn't fair".  We pay stupid high taxes here, and I don't see the government getting all weepy because they were busy reaming we the people, so really I've no idea why it was repealed or even if it WAS.  I just know that they said something about us paying too much for gas.)

Right, so we've been paying more than two dollars a gallon.  The fall and spring after I got my truck, it cost about 30 dollars to fill.  Contemplate that.  Once a week.  30 dollars.  Gradually, I noticed a steady dropping of the price. Where there was 1.95, there was 1.88.   Where there was 1.88, there was 1.75!  It was amazing, indeed, but little did I know, how could I ever have known what was to come?

A dollar thirty five, people! A DOLLAR THIRTY FIVE!!  Then?  $1.34.  $1.33.  $1.32!  And not only was the gas cheap, but I'd CALL people and tell them about it!  "Mom!! MOM!!! Know what I spent?!?"  "Angelo!! Guess how much gas is??"
 

I am an old man about gasoline prices! I send email about it! I think about it when I drive past gas stations!  "Heh, heh! What fuckhead is going to spend a dollar FIFTY SEVEN on gas these days??"  And just, JUST when I thought it couldn't possibly get any better?  When I thought I'd hit the apex of gas price obsession?  I pulled into a Hess station on Friday night before heading up to the casino to meet up with Shae and Rog (no link, sorry.  I don't remember his url).  I call them from the gas station.  Do you know what I tell them?  "A DOLLAR TWENTY NINE!!! GAS IS A DOLLAR TWENTY NINE!!! I am SUCH an old man!!"

And it was.  Buck twenny nine.  I told everyone.  I called my MOTHER to tell her.  I did.  It's not right.  I fill my truck for under twenty dollars now.  UNDER twenty.  Dollars.
 
 

Me.  An old man.  When did this shit happen?
 
 

 if you want to read what i wrote the other day, it's here. if you want turdmonster, he's here.  if you want to see my links, they're here. if you want to mail me, that's here.