February 2
 

I lied.  I went back and voted for myself.  Someone sent me mail telling me that it was stupid not to, and the more I thought about it, the more I thought "you know, she's right!"   I lay in bed last night with this whole mental picture thing going down:  I imagined Clinton moseying into the voting booth 4+ years ago, and him seeing his name up there on top of Bob Dole's, and I do not believe for one single second he thought to himself  "Bill.  Billy.  Bill-a-rino.  Bubba.   Howabout you give old Bob Dole your vote.  That would be sporting of you!"  He was all "Fuck THAT.  I am the president, I am not fucking moving from that house before I have to!"  and he voted for himself.  That is what I fell asleep thinking about.   You may think me a ranting bitch (which yu may or may not have, anyhow) but all of you "it's just an honor to be nominated" people are kidding only yourselves.  Everyone wants to win.  Whether the Diarists are given too OFTEN, are BIASED, are FULL OF SHIT, are for LOSERS, whatever, people like them, people like getting them, they are extremely validating and cool and when you get  email saying you were nominated, you go through these phases:

1.)  Excitement!  "Shit Yeaahhh!"
2.)  Nervousness! "Oh, man.  I wonder if I'll win!"
3.)  Smug, Self Satisfaction! "Like anyone could ever win but me.  WhatEVER!"
4.)  Complete Forgetting.  "The what awards?  Huh?  What about them?"
5.)  Elation/Twitchy Denial.   "I won?  Excellent!"  or  "I really didn't give a shit anyway."

So, color me a self-promoting asshole, but I did it for America, for our blow job loving ex president, and because everyone loves a winner.