June 17
 

So that's first.  A little Angelo for your troubles.  He's not doing all that well, though this photograph says otherwise.  He's still as cute as hell, though so that counts.  I neglected to mention the reason my sitting out in Myrtle Beach lead to trouble a few days later.  I burned.  And I peeled.  And the peeling was mostly on my face.  The peeling on my face lead to peeling on my SCALP, leaving me with GIANT FLAKES OF HAIR.  I looked like I had a terrible case of dandruff for the entire trip.  I am PRETTY!!
 

Oh, My GOD!! SO GOOD!! LOOK WHO'S BACK!!:

Dear Friend,

My name is Senator victor Kassim Oyofor, the chairman for the Senate
committee on Pension,insurance and manpower development in the National Assembly of the Federal Republic Of Nigeria.

I am writing you to earnestly Solicit for your assistance in helping to
receive some sum of money into your account for safe keeping.

I got your e-mail address through an internet marketing firm while
searching for a reliable and reputable person to handle this transaction.

THE PROPOSITION:

We have the sum of US$10,000,000.00 (Ten Million United States Dollars Only)
that we intend to transfer overseas through the assistance of a foreign
partner. This money came as a result of Over provision in the budget for unclaimed pension and accident insurance. This over provision was done by my committee, but all payments  have been made to beneficiaries leaving behind the over budgeted amount which amounts to US$10,000,000.00 which is deposited in the Credit Financial Bank here in Nigeria.

I have agreed to transfer the funds overseas for my campaign funding and
other investment purposes, private use and for investment purposes with
your help. I am contacting you therefore, to stand in as the beneficiary
to process this fund into your custody. As soon as you consent to this I
will immediately send you title documents to the fund in your name so you can make claim for it.

I will provide you with 30% share of the toral money for assisting us. The fund shall be transferred to you legally in accordance to all laid down procedures governing transfer of funds.

I have perfected all modalities for the successful transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary.  Finally, I have to reassure you that this transaction is 100% risk free and should be kept absolutely confidential. Presently, you can reach me by return mail, you should also include your telephone numbers if any, for secured communication between us. Also Note that we need to conclude this transaction as soon as possible and KINDLY REPLY TO MY PRIVATE Email Address: vicoyofor68@netscape.net.

I am waiting for your kind and prompt response, Thank you for your anticipated cooperation.

Best Regards

Senator Victor Kassim Oyofor.
 

So, OBVIOUSLY he can't keep track of all the saucy ladies he has wooed over the months.  Here's my reply:
 

My Dearest Victor!!

God has truly smiled upon my inbox once again!!!  I appreciate that you are playing coy, as though we have not exhanged many thrilling emails in the past, about our future entanglements in my, dare I say, bedroom!!  I am enchanted that you are willing to give me another chance after I dropped the ball (certainly, I would never drop YOUR ball, my Nubian God!) by not responding to your last pulse-quickening communication! Oh, the things I thought when I read your mail!! You could write blue movies for a living! What a vivid imagination!!  I shared your mail with my dogg, Snoop, and we proceeded to spend the rest of the afternoon discussing the pros and cons of doing it Doggie Style.  I trust you know of which I speak.

I confess, your last mail intruiged me SO very much, I dropped everything and went to Nigeria in the hopes of finding you, my beloved.  I had a cashier's check in hand--ready to give to YOU so that we could combine our fortunes and live happily ever after, rutting like rabbits on nitrous!!  I spent a month traveling the countryside (and I must say, your country is LOVELY! The people were terribly friendly and interested in my journey!) asking people whether or not they'd heard of you.  Senator! I was astonished to learn that NO ONE knew who you were!! Are you a SECRET Senator, or is that some type of honorary title, the way the performer PRINCE is actually not a Prince?  I certainly hope I did not endanger your safety by showing up to look for you.  People were very kind when they saw the large amount of USD I traveled with in my fanny pack and some less than savory types attempted to remove the cash from my person.  Fortunately, I never travel alone.  I had my posse to protect me (and keep me warm at night!), Chuck D, Flava Flav, Professor Griff and several members of the NWA.  I trust you've heard of them?  Anyhow, they managed to make sure I remained unmolested as I travelled around, seeking you.

Senator, I believe we have something special.  The combination of our libido and our cash will prove to be a very important one.  I am hoping you are as committed to me as I am to you.  We are meant to be!!  I beg you, please send me another photo so that I can be reminded of just how deeply your handsome visage stirred me (and I think you know what I mean.)

Yours in threesomes,

Miss E.
 
 
 

I'm SO HAPPY!! I got to make a fresh start!!!
 
 

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