October 20
Weird Mood, Day 26.6
You know what? I hate you. I can't stand the way you stop dead in the middle of the sidewalk right in front of me, and I hate the way you jabber at the top of your lungs on your cell phone in public places. I especially hate, speaking of cell phones, the way you talk while you're driving and can't seem to get it in your head that you're not driving the speed limit and that there are 10 cars all angrily creeping along behind you because you're IMPORTANT and your business needs IMMEDIATE ATTENTION. Nevermind that you're telling your MAID that she didn't do an adequate job DUSTING and that she'd better shape up or you'll have her green card revoked. It's IMPORTANT.
So, for that, I hate you.
I hate you for the way you brush past my grandfather like he's not even there. For the way you roll your eyes impatiently when he stops to do something. I hate what time is doing.
I hate how you microwave weird smelling food at work and smell up the hall for hours afterwards.
I hate sitcoms. I hate that song about Stacy's Mom. I hate you, Good Charlotte. I don't know any of your songs, but I hate how you look and I've heard you speak. Guess what? I don't like it.
I hate that it's only October and there was frost on the ground this morning.
I hate how I feel like everything is in flux all around me and I hate not knowing the truth about anything. I hate the way you treat me.
I hate how I feel. It's not quite ANYTHING.
I broke a nail. I hate that.
I can't get used to how this bonded tooth feels in my mouth.
I hate feeling like I don't have enough time to spend with my grandparents and hate that I don't have too many friends.
I hate knowing that Nicole might be leaving Connecticut.
I HATED the movie "Lost in Translation". There aren't even words to describe how I loathed it.
I hate when people say one thing, and then do another.
For Balance:
I like the smell of the air on a humid fall night.
I like the Yankees.
I like the Steve Burns CD.
I like the smell of vetyver, and all perfumes that use it as a note.
I like Atlantic City and the drive there from here.
I like you, mostly.
I like sleeping with Nick under a warm blanket with the windows cracked, and waking in the morning to find the dogs asleep between us.
I like internet radio. Specifically, I like the show "A Fistful of Soundtracks".
I like my car now that it seems to be running normally again.
I like days where the time passes quickly and I don't feel like I'm staring at the clock every 2 seconds.
I like talking to my grandmother on the phone.
I like webcams of deluded strangers.
I like monkeys, but I hate the ones with creepy faces.
I like the sweater I'm wearing.
I like pens with a clicky thingamajiggy on top.
I like Target, and I don't care how you pronounce it, although I can't pretend I understand what "Tar-jae" is supposed to be about.
I like the internet, but I think I hate online journals. Wait, yeah--mine and yours included. Sorry. Maybe this should have gone up in hate.
I like Strongbad, and I like the little Strongbad figurines Nick bought for me.
I like colorful paintings of martinis, though, to be truthful, I almost never drink plain martinis. Too boozy.
I like a perfect cup of coffee. I like Chai tea.
I like pumpkin spiced things in the fall.
I like slot machines, and I like playing blackjack even though I almost never win at the first, and don't so much understand how to play the other.
I like Sephora. And malls.
I like the fact that the fire alarms on my building all say "If this alarm rings, call the fire department".
I think I included more likes than hates. That's a good thing, right?