March 27 (hah, or April 22)
If I was more clever with the clever business, I'd do some photoshop shit and make this image way funnier, but I actually think it's pretty funny as is. What? WHAT?? Don't make me come down there!
A long time ago, Nicole informed me that I was the Matt Damon of our duo. Whether or not she regrets calling Ben for herself remains to be seen, but today I am here to claim the Bing Crosby to her Bob Hope. That's right I love jesus and get off on beating my kids with a sock full of pennies, what? WHAT? You have a problem with that? Don't make me beat His love back into your slutty asses. I bring it up because we've got a road trip coming up, and it went down in a fun fashion:
1. I find that a person Nicole (and I- secretly, or not so secretly if you were driving on the Garden State Parkway near me last Saturday at about 5:30) has been dying to see in concert for as long as I've known her-- is playing. This person doesn't tour often [I don't think, since honestly, I haven't spent a lot of time checking], and I notice that there are two shows listed. In Canada.
2.) I email Nicole the information, with a "It's too bad [said person] isn't playing closer! We could totally go!
3.) Nicole emails me back "We could go!!!! How long is the drive?"
4.) We email back and forth frantically (sort of like the day of the hooker safari), trying to get a grip on the logistics of the trip.
5.) Eventually, I indicate that the idea is stupid, the drive is far too long for an overnight trip.
6.) Not to be deterred, Nicole inquires about the length of the train ride. I check with Amtrak and alert her that the drive is actually five house SHORTER than the train ride.
7.) The weekend comes. I share my [embarrassing performer] close call with friends.
8.) Monday morning, there is an email in my inbox: "YOU ARE NOT GIVING THIS THE THOUGHT AND CONSIDERATION THAT YOU SHOULD!!! WE CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN! STOP BEING NEGATIVE!"
9.) I call the concert venue, asking about the price of rooms. I look up flights.
10.) I break down what the cost of this journey will be. Nicole counters with an EXCEL SPREADSHEET of figures, which was a little show-offy, considering she repeated the figurers I'd said to her, IN A SPREADSHEET.
11.) Approximately 500 emails and one semi-annoyed conversation with my boss about getting time off later, I am holding a printout of ticket conformation from Air Canada and a rental car confirmation from Enterprise.
I'd never call Nicole a wacky person by any stretch of the imagination, but I think that what makes us such good friends is that she is always up for wacky ANTIC which is important. Everyone should have a friend, the Bob Hope to their Bing Crosby, to drive to LaGuardia, hop on a plane, fly to Toronto and then drive two hours on kilometer-counted roads, crawling with Mounties hiding behind shrubbery on mooseback or whatever it is exactly that Mounties mount, waiting to spring out and club our Connecticut asses with a seal clubbing stick and sell us into French slavery all to see...
Lionel Richie.
Comeon, you KNOW you're jealous!
Update, almost a month later. What's happening? A few of you wrote expressing concern with my silence, but I guess I'm just feeling quiet. Nothing is really going on. I finished my first non-scarf knitting project, but I'm still sort of terrified to knit. Work is about the same, I'm working weirdly hard on a giant grant that's due in early May. Angelo is about the same, although I admit that I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks. Uh. The weather is finally starting to make me not want to kill people. I got my passport, and in the photograph, I look a little bit like I'm holding a litter of mice in my mouth. And that's it. Peace out.
Oh, but first, this song. It's beautiful and it's for you.
I'll use a lock that has no key
Bind you with chains
That no one else can seeLet the water creep over your face
I'll send it in waves
Just to watch you perform the great escapeHow long can you hold your breath
While you hold mine again and wait
Just to watch you perform the great escapeI'll pull your arms tight behind your back
Use myself as weight
And wonder while you fadeHow long can you hold your breath
While you hold mine again and wait
Just to watch you perform the great escape
a while ago - email - home - soon
