May 6
 

My Beloved Nigerian Scammer Update!!
 

So, after no reply for a few days, I was starting to get a little worried that he might not write back, but sure as hell, I got mail today.  In the interest of keeping you all current with how I amuse myself, here's  his letter and my reply.  Hopefully, he'll write me back fairly quickly and I can keep you updated all day long!!!
 

1:15:  He replied!!  For his mail and my reply, skim to the bottom.
 
 
 
 
 

Dear Missy Eliot,

Good day. How are you doing today? I have been waiting for your email message or telephone call. Why haven't you fill the Application Form and send it back to me, so that the processes of the transfer of Fund US$10 Million can commence immediately.

Have a nice and blessed day.

I am hoping to hear from you soonest.

Thanks.

Best Regard,

Senator Victor Oyofor.
 
 
 

My reply:
 

Most Esteemed Sir:
 

I am terribly sorry for the delay!! For the past few days, I have been engaged in a frightful battle with my dogg, Snoop. He has been telling me that perhaps I need to invest my inheritance in a more philanthropic way. I keep telling him that you are an honest, Allah loving man, but he will hear none of it! "Miss E" he says "Do you remember that time you gave away the $456,042 to the "nun" who said she was collecting for "Jesus"? Of course I remembered that! How embarrassed and dismayed I was to discover that she was nothing more than a common flim flam artist!

Again and again, I try and convince him that you would never try and bring any harm to me or mine, but he insists on proof!! Is there any way you can assure me that you are legitimate? Do you have any brothers? I am fearfully lonely, and a nice young Nigerian stallion might be just the cure for that!!

Revererently and with love,

Miss E.
 

PS: I will get to filling out your application very soon. I feel that ours is a friendship that will stand the test of time!!
 
 
 

More:
 

Dear Miss Eliot,

Good day. How are you doing now? Thanks for your email message which I
received few minutes ago, the contents are clearly understood and noted.

As per your thought about sincerity in this transaction, I am assuring you again that we shall make a very good partners in this transaction as long as you adhere to my instructions, we must be successful with the transfer of the US$10 Million to your Bank Account which you are yet to provide me with.

Do not hesitate to contact me through this my private email address or you should call me on my direct telephone number: 234-803-321-6890 at anytime of the day/night for more verbal discussions and to established cordial relationship between each other.

I am very sorry and feel for you about your Loneliness, why is it like that, are you living alone since the death of your Uncle Henry? That means you really needs some good and warm company around to make you happy and lively.

Reference to your question if I have brother, truly I have brothers who are well to do too, Don't feel shy or reluctant to let me know your present Emotional situation, if their is anyway I can help you there, I would really and faithfully do it for your sake if it is within my power. I can never bring or cause you anyharm, it is not Godly to hurt our neighbours.

Please try and fill up the Application Form and send it back to me urgently.

Have a nice and blessed day.

I am hoping to hear from you soonest.

Thanks.

Best Regard,

Senator Victor Oyofor.
 
 

My Reply:
 
 

Dear Victor:  (I do hope you don't mind my calling you Victor.  I feel as though we have known one another for many many years!)

Again! I am trying to convince Snoop that you are legitimate, but he is very overprotective.  It is amazing that a Dogg be so jealous of interlopers, and I believe that he senses that you and I share something very special--dare I suggest--perhaps even LOVE?, even though we've just met.

Today, as I sat out on my porch swinging on my swing, I wondered what you were doing at that very moment.  Whether you were thinking of me, too.  I imagined that you were.  I hastened to find the print out of your application form, determined to fill it out before Snoop found me, but as I ran across my marble floor (which cost USD $25,600 to install!  The marbles are made from discarded glass eyes from the Famous Disceased American Song and Dance Man, Sammy Davis Jr.  Perhaps you have met him in your travels?) I was horrified to find myself tumbling to the ground, the paper sailing from my hand and landing squarely in the garbage disposal, which is a giant Mynah Bird.  IMAGINE HOW HORRIFIED I
WAS!!!  Snoop came running to see what the commotion was all about, and he found me slumped to the floor in a pool of tears.  Tears I cried because I feared that I would lose you forever, Victor.  Lose you as a business partner and potential father to my children.
 

I am a very wealthy and very lonely woman, as I said.  Uncle Henry and I used to play such fun games! Do you play games in Nigeria?  Our favorite was called "Hide The Salami".  Oh, we played that often!
 

I must end this comminucation now, Snoop is getting suspicious.  Please kiss yourself on the hand, and pretend it is from me.  Oh, and before I forget, do you happen to have any more photographs of yourself?  I'd really like to see the man I'm falling so deeply in love with.  Your passport photo has haunted me since I opened your mail, that fateful Sunday.
 

Yours in Business Partnership and maybe more...
(I HOPE)

Miss E.
 

PS:  I have attached a photograph of myself for you to see.  I hope you like it.
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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