June ??

I'm making a real effort to smile in these photographs because I've looked so (and been so) damn miserable lately.

 

I've totally lost track of what day it might be. I'm guessing maybe the 5th? The 6th? No idea. I've not gone back to work yet, but I think the big day will be Tuesday. Weirdly, since I've been out of work, the weather has gone from freezing, like, the day I left the hospital I had to crank the heat when I got home to HOT AS BALLS today. I way prefer hot as balls, because I'm a hot weather kind of gal.

As you can see, my eye has settled down a lot. I'm not really convinced that the black and blue will ever go away, but as of Friday, I stopped wearing a hat outside because really, if you're just looking at me from the front, you can't entirely tell that my head is mashed. For example--I walked into Nicole's house Friday morning. I looked right at her, and she said "Oh, you can't really tell!". Then I turned to the side, her smile faded and she said "Oh. NOW I see it!". If I go through life just looking at people from the front, I'm good. I'd totally forgotten that the doctor, in between chastising me about brain bleeds and death and blindness, suggested that I rub Ben Gay or a Ben Gay like (aside: the first time I ever played spin the bottle was with a bunch of kids I knew back in Junior HS, and it included a guy named Kevin Gay. Guess what his dad's name was? That's right. Ben Gay. Listed in the phone book as "B. Gay" which to a 13 year old might be the funniest thing you could ever cook up. Only pre-teens turn to the phone book for a chuckle) substance on the eye before I went to sleep ("DO NOT GET IT IN YOUR EYE!" Me: "Yeah, thanks"). It helps. The weirdest thing is that I am no longer able to move that eyebrow. Did I sever a nerve? Is it still too swollen? Will it ever move again? It's a facial mystery. Someday, I'll look back on this and smile and raise BOTH eyebrows to convey cynicism that I was ever dumb enough to do such a thing, but in the meantime, I'll just keep rubbing Ben Gay around my eye.

I starting going out, like really out, not to go sit on my back porch, on Thursday night when someone from my lab called and asked if I wanted to go out to eat that night, I did. Since many of them saw me immediately post-fall, they were amazed at how much better I appeared and we spent a great amount of time discussing what occured immediately after the Fall of 05. I didn't realize it, but I think I must have blacked out for a bit (hence the concussion the ER doctors diagnosed) and I'd forgotten they told me to go and have a follow up CT scan, which I don't believe I'm going to do. Because I'm a badass. A lumpy badass.

 

I neglected to talk about my wedding anniversary in any detail because there was so much else going on. Nick and I were going to go out to dinner on Saturday, which turned out to be a no go, because of my eye. We couldn't celebrate on the 25th, which is our actual anniversary since I spent the 25th on my sofa, hopped up on pain killers. I just remade our dinner reservations for this coming Thursday, which by my calculations would be June 45th or so, but here's a song that has always reminded me of Nick. Happy Anniversary, Monkey.

 

the other day - home - email - soon