November 24
I finally went off to the supermarket after work yesterday to buy a turkey and the Thanksgiving stuff. Maybe it's because I've been cooking the dinner for the past 8 years that I no longer get freaked about doing it and I didn't bother to make up a list to bring with me, since I already knew what I was cooking and what I needed. Perhaps I walked through the Stop and Shop with a calm and collected face while everyone around me freaked, but I was hovering by the sweet potatoes when a woman came over to me:
"HOW MANY SWEET POTATOES DO YOU NEED FOR THAT CASSEROLE THING?? THE ONE WITH THE MARSHMELLOWS?!?!"
That's sort of a subjective question, isn't it? I mean, it would totally depend on how many people she had belly up to the table and how much they all loved that particular dish (note: I love it more than I should. With salt all over it.)
I left produce and kept on walking. I got about 3 aisles down to the baking and spices. There, I found a chick in her early 20s, pacing back and forth in front of the sugar, muttering aloud to herself:
"POWDERED SUGAR?!?! WHAT THE HELL IS POWDERED SUGAR?!?! I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF POWDERED SUGAR!!!"
I felt wise, gentle readers. I felt wise and married. I felt like a married woman with almost 10 years of Thanksgiving dinners under her belt. I could afford to be generous. When I found her freaking out in front of the cake mix, still muttering to herself, I stood up (I was looking at olives, of course) and said "Powdered sugar DOES exist. Look in with the sugar. If they're out, you can make it yourself from regular sugar and a blender"
She fixed me with a look of utter relief and thanked me. Take THAT Martha Stewart. While she's in jail, if you've got any questions, you all know where to look now.
I left that aisle and found myself face to face with the sweet potato woman.
"WHERE ARE THE MARSHMELLOWS??!!!!!"
I stopped and pointed her to where they were, not at all hidden. Truly, I am the queen of Thanksgiving.
With that, here's a song.
