August 12
 
 

Is there some kind of mental disorder out there that causes the person who has it the compulsion to do the same thing over and over?  And not like obsessive handwashing or cleaning or plucking out hair kind of compulsion, but purchasing the exact same thing time after time?  I really think there must be because please, let me show you all the car I just bought:
 

 
 
 

If you're thinking to yourself "Self, isn't that the self same car Dana already has?"  You would be 100 percent correct.  It's the same.  Same model, same VW, same color.  It's different, though! It is!  For example, THIS VW doesn't have a hole digger in the back seat.  THIS VW hasn't yet been keyed by some total fuck in a parking lot.  THIS VW doesn't have a Speedpass (BEST. THING. EVER.)  or a Radiohead sticker or two years worth of dirt and Coney Island sand and dog fur woven into the seats.  This car hasn't yet known the joy of The Dude Who Lives in My Car, always.  It doesn't know from Turdmonster in the back seat.

It doesn't know about any of that because we haven't met yet, oh, no no!  But we WILL.  Sometime next week, we will.
 

If you're thinking to yourself "Self, didn't Dana just purchase this car in 2002?"  You would again be 100 percent correct.  I did.  But this one is BETTER.  Mostly, it's better because it's costing me less.  You should know, I LOVE the car I have now.  I love the way it's broken in.  I love how it drives.  I love how it looks and how it gets up to speed on the highway.  I love EVERYTHING ABOUT IT except for one thing--how much I was paying for it, monthly.
 

You might remember that I bought this car rather abruptly after the untimely (and completely self caused) death of my GTI.  I went in not fully intending to buy a car, mostly looking for a used car, and walked out with a brand new one.  With no money down.  Not really the wisest choice I've ever made, but I needed a car and they offered me one.  The downside was, of course, that my monthly payments were OUT OF CONTROL (~400).  Maybe you've seen the ads running on tv (maybe you HAVEN'T, who knows?) but VW is running an August sale on their 04 stock--0% interest for the duration of the loan.  Of course, the car I lusted for, the Turbo Diesel Golf, was not covered by the 0%, but I called my dealer to see if they'd, well, make me a deal.

And they did! Oh, how they did.  I am getting the EXACT SAME CAR, but new,  for 100 dollars less a month.  And it has heated seats, which are awesome during the horrible New England winters.  (Although, Nick has them in his Mini, and they always make me feel, just a little bit, like I'm sitting in a poopy diaper.  But that's just me.  Imagine the mirth of the VW salesmen when they overheard me SAYING that.  "Poopy diaper!?!? DID SHE JUST SAY POOPY DIAPER?!?!?"

If you're interested in buying a car from my dealer, hit their very retarded site right here.  And if you go on in and get a car, tell them I sent you.  They have ICE CREAM in the waiting room.
 
 

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